Post-Thanksgiving Depression

There should be a holiday to fill that void between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Choose the Best Answer

I think if one of the selections for a multiple-choice question were "police brutality," people wouldn't choose it, even if it were the right answer.

Thumbs Up For Evolution

I've never really met anybody who felt that opposable thumbs were a burden; so I guess I would be comfortable saying, "Evolution: so far, so good."

Perspective

If being kicked in the groin by a burly man wearing steel-toed boots is the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky. If it happens again tomorrow, your luck may be wearing thin.

Rule #14

Anybody who shows up at book club wearing nothing but some sort of outfit made of fresh-baked bread shall be promptly--albeit politely--asked not to come back.

We Won't Forget You Grandpa

The one thing I remember most about Grandpa is his anger. Nobody got angry quite like Grandpa did.

Speaking of Basketball...

That's Democracy Alright

I think the three major challenges facing politicians today are: 1.The high cost of running a successful campaign, 2.Appealing to all voter demographics, and 3.Finding time for pick-up basketball games.

Quality Programming

They other day I was watching TV when it struck me: "Hey, this isn't TV I'm watching; it's a tapestry!" After a while the tapestry got boring, so I turned it off.

Ho Ho H@#!%

There should be a Christmas carol about Santa's extensive use of profanity.